Charismania, Evangelical Train Wreck, False Doctrine, Mega-Churches, Seeker Friendly Nonsense, Snarky VerbiageSteven KozarAndy Stanley, Bethel Redding, Bill Johnson, Brian Houston, Church by the Glades, Dr- Michael Brown, Elevation Church, Heidi Baker, Jenn Johnson, Kenneth Copeland, Kris Vallotton, Lakewood Church, Mark Batterson, Pastor David Hughes, Randy Clark, Rick Joyner, Rick Warren, Rob Bell, Robert Morris, Rodney Howard-Browne, Stacey Campbell, Steven Furtick, T- D- Jakes, Todd Bentley, Toronto Blessing, Vision Casting, Willow Creek

Stupid Pastor Tricks-How You're Getting Fooled Part 2

Charismania, Evangelical Train Wreck, False Doctrine, Mega-Churches, Seeker Friendly Nonsense, Snarky VerbiageSteven KozarAndy Stanley, Bethel Redding, Bill Johnson, Brian Houston, Church by the Glades, Dr- Michael Brown, Elevation Church, Heidi Baker, Jenn Johnson, Kenneth Copeland, Kris Vallotton, Lakewood Church, Mark Batterson, Pastor David Hughes, Randy Clark, Rick Joyner, Rick Warren, Rob Bell, Robert Morris, Rodney Howard-Browne, Stacey Campbell, Steven Furtick, T- D- Jakes, Todd Bentley, Toronto Blessing, Vision Casting, Willow Creek
Stupid Pastor Tricks-How You're Getting Fooled Part 2

I previously posted a similarly titled post where I noted “The Juvenilization Category of Tricks”. Here, I am adding to that …

The Terrible Theology Category of Tricks:

  • The "watch me quote an unbeliever in order to back up my weak, unbiblical sermon idea" trick. Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Nelson Mandela, Henry Ford, Walt Disney, Thomas Edison, Bill Gates... *yawn* oh yeah, that's never been done before.

  • The “Doctrine isn’t any fun!” trick. This one is surprisingly easy to pass off to unsuspecting people who fail to realize that Pastor Disaster is actually teaching the doctrine that “doctrine isn’t any fun.” He is teaching the idea that teaching is burdensome.

  • The “I can’t possibly meet with you because I’m too busy & important” trick. When you watch Pastor MegaMan give a speech you’re getting as close to him as you ever will. He’s not an old-fashioned shepherd, he’s the CEO of a growing leadership organization and you should be honored just to watch him shake hands at his latest book signing & autograph session.

  • The "God wants to bless you, but He can't (until you follow these steps)" trick. Basically, you're teaching people that God is a magic lamp and you've got the secret technique to rub Him the right way in order to get what you want. (Note: substantial proof-texting will be necessary in order to stop people from thinking about these Bible verses)

  • The "watch me admit that I don't know what I'm talking about while I simultaneously tell you what something means" trick. This is where Mr. Mega Pastor plays his "humble regular guy" card as he also plays his "respectable expert" card.

  • The "God wants you to change the world" trick. No pressure or anything...

  • The “We have to use these embarrassing and patronizing stunts in order build the Kingdom of God” trick. This is required in order to get unbelievers into the building so they can “make a decision” and “ask Jesus into their hearts” at the conclusion of a motivational speech that fails to highlight (or even mention) the Gospel.

(Steven Furtick does NOT approve of this article!)


  • The "Yes, it's all about the numbers!" trick. How dare you question the intentions of the egomaniac on stage who is getting wealthy as he manipulates volunteers to build his empire while claiming that "God is really doing something at this place!"

  • The "obedience is just another word for tithing" trick. As soon as Mr. Mega Pastor starts to say he "doesn't really like to talk about money," you can pack your bags because, most likely, you're going on a guilt trip.

  • The “Now that I’ve been proven to be a narcissistic and abusive megalomaniac it’s time for me to talk about your need to be more forgiving” trick. He’ll never be done making everyone underneath him feel guilty, even when he’s the one clearly at fault. Got it??

Steven Kozar started The Messed Up Church; he is an artist (StevenKozar.com is his art website), musician, blogger, and stuff. He makes videos, too, on The Messed Up Church YouTube channel.